not much happened last week. live. breathe. same ol same ol. i was bored to DEATH. then an offline message. "sm passed away this morning..."
that jolted me. hard. i stared into space, not knowing what to think. 31. she was just 31.
then it all came rushing back. she was the very first person, with her smiling eyes and rambut tocang, who was brave enough to befriend me when i landed in convent kota in standard two. she had the skinniest legs ever. she (ok, her mom) threw some of the fun-nest birthday parties a kid could wish for. she was one of my best 'bicycle buddies'... always willing to take the trip up and down the hill to get to my place. she had a visible whitish stain on one of her front teeth. she held my hand, booed the rest but cheered me on at a pertandingan bercerita at anderson, ipoh. she had the biggest heart.
life happened and like most childhood friendships, she and i fizzled. but in that little time we spent together, she was to me, a wonderful friend, a warm fuzzy ball of delight to have around.
another very close friend of mine 'left' me a few years back. the ‘big c’ took her two days before my 26th birthday and her death set my world into a tailspin. always a survivor, we never talked about death, we only spoke about the joys of living. when her colleague called to say that she was in icu, i took my own sweet time -- powdered on some make-up, perfected my mascara -- only to arrive five minutes too late. i never did get to say bye-bye.
last year i went to a funeral filled with a sea of young faces. to be honest, i still don’t know why i braved the rain to pay my last respects -- i hardly knew the deceased. the only thing we had in common was our love for the spoken words but on the very few occasions that we did meet, i remember thinking, “this chick will go places…” indeed she did but it was a trip cut too short, too soon. she was barely 30.
i don’t know what to make of this. of DEATH. no matter how many ‘early’ goodbyes i’ve had the misfortune of soldiering through, it never does get any easier. the shock, denial, sadness, anger, acceptance… practice certainly doesn’t make it perfect.
my aunt passed away recently and a few days before she drew her final breath, she looked me in the eye and said, “nanti kita jumpa lagi yer…” scared and unprepared as i may be, i hope to God i will meet her again one day. her and the very important few i never got a chance to say goodbye to…
*syerina is on the right. pejoh was one of her good friends. still is.
10 comments:
Life's just too short.
I'm sorry to hear of your loss my dear. We have indeed arrived at times of our lives where death begins to take more prominence.Hugs.
yep, life is indeed way too short. thanks for being a part of my life woman...
dearest nicole,
so glad to hear from you :) i sometimes wish we are cats, with nine lives to spare. guess we have to make the most of today. take care of you...
sedih babe... she was indeed a person with a beautiful heart.. she never failed to look at you without a smile...kan? :(.. i'll try to get some of her pictures scanned ..later2 ok..
yeah... aku teringat this one picture of us both, pakai uniform sekolah masa darjah 6, sengih macam kerang busuk. i had double chin and she looked like a million dollars. those were the good ol' days... :(
scan them pics, i'll post it here.
My condolences on the death of a friend Arnie.
My first real experience of death came at 9. He was my best friend of all but less than a week I think.
Syeikh Faisal was one of those from the sheikh family that was blessed with good looks, but his energy and sincerity was what shone through.
I remember vividly...
He was in my house that fatefuk evening, as we lived a bout two houses apart, in Taman Aman near Sri Aman school.
We were playing monopoly with my twin sister, when he suddenly walked down the stairs, and played the piano. I could see himfrom the lounge upstairs.
I was puzzled why he left the game, but I joined him downstairs, and sat by him next to the piano. Then he left, walked upstairs back to the game.
I joined him, and after a few minutes he left again, this time through my front door, I saw him from the upstairs window, walk to another neighbour's house, in front of his house.
Within minutes, maybe even seconds, I heard a gunshot. Seconds later, a ptrol car came buzzing and screeching to a halt.
It was an accident, of course, but I deeply felt that loss. He was the first person outside my family that I had a real connection with.
We were mates.
I didn't want to see him go, but his father explained to my family as I looked up to his saddened dad, "He'd be a vegetable otherwise, and he was on life support anyway".
I have never, the the 28 years that has passed, seen a more beautiful face as us living say prayers.
It was his demise that taught me the value of friendship, and the value of this life. So while he touched my life, and I'm sure others too, during his brief stay on earth, he shaped my life as it stood in front of me, way after he left.
Al-Fatihah.
amir,
it's tragic for a kid to experience a death so early in his life... the growing up process moves along a whole lot faster. youre a stronger person because of it and in a weird and twisted way, am glad.
btw, if it's written in the stars, then you and her shall be together. have faith :)
hello..i know syerina. Anak cikgu ape tuh?? Penolong kanan sekolah konben.. Innalillah..
Ooo kat sini rupanya arni sari. hehehhe.. i'm from CONVENT KOTA.. kalau you darjah 3, i darjah 1 la kot. i know farina, arni sari and syerina.. tu nama budak famous kat convent dulu. Hehehhe. Then my sister dekat SSP plak.. if you know AWIN la. :)
now i remember syerina's mother. Puan Rosnah.. yes yes. And our Guru Besar masa tuh was Miss Foo Kon Tai.
I also remember your famous cerita with your tangan ala2 robot, and i think its sang kancil tenggelam dlm kolam ke camtuh. hahha.
Oh yes, i also know ainul saerah. And masa tuh the ketua pengawas, alamak lupa nama but the last name is Skymar.
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