already?!

it's been a year. we've been married for 365 days. can you believe it? i still can't.

there were moments where i just wanted to snap his head into two, kick his nuts til' they're fat and swollen or spit in his food when he's not looking. there were even days when i felt like jumping off a cliff into the wide open sea with a suitcase full of his prized possessions (i.e kitchen aid meat grinder and bbq grill).

but then there are times when he's right there snoring his sinus off, with his mouth wide open, looking completely vulnerable when i know i've made the best decision to date.

he, despite his imperfections, is definitely worth the drama.

*photo courtesy of jason armstrong

chin peng betoi...

ini adalah kesah benar. abang kawan kepada kawan saya mengalaminya baru-baru ini. saya yang membaca kesah klasik ini ketawa sehingga hendak terkincit.

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I was looking for an empty space to park my car in Bangsar when suddenly there's a knock on the window...

"Encik ah... tanya sikit ah... itu Chimpeng mana ah...?"

"Apa?"

"Chimpeng, Chimpeng... saya sudah tanya itu guard ah.. dia cakap sini ada satu Chimpeng..."

"Sorrylah Apek. Saya tak tau woh... Apa tempat itu Chimpeng?"

"Aiyah... itu Chimpeng balu punya... Saya mau pigi angkat wang la..."

"Tarak tau la boss. Itu kedai ka apa? Along ka?"

"Chimpeng bukan kedai ma... lu itu pun tak tau ah...? Itu Chimpeng macam itu Maypeng, Public Peng, RHetB Peng... Itu balu punya Peng..."

So what was he actually looking for?

CIMB Bank!!!

innalillah...

i got the call two nights ago. and i couldn't stop thinking about HIM ever since. then again, what else would you do if you've just been told that your "big bro" had passed away?

i've known him since 1999, back when i was a media rookie in shah alam. most everyone labelled the man as "the flirt, the big slacker" but i didn't buy any of that. he was so much more than anyone ever gave him credit for.

i remember one day in particular when he came to work in high spirits, smiling, looking for me.

"eh, semalam ko ada berkenalan dengan sape sape tak?"

"ntah, ada kot. apesal pulak?" i said.

"he sends his regards."

i broke into a huge grin. i did infact try to hook up with a particular gentleman the night before.

"sape? dia? are you sure? mana ko kenal dia?"

"elehh suka la tu. dia dok sama building dengan aku. dia nak your number. nak bagi tak?"

"bagi! bagi! bagi!"

he looked at me, geleng kepala and walked away.

later that same day, he came and sat next to me. his dior higher wafted through the thick air. you can always trust him to smell good.

"kau betul nak berkenalan dengan dia ni?"

"ye la..."

"kau jaga jaga ok. he has a reputation. aku orang sarawak, aku tau la dia. just be careful ok?"

"ok ok. kecoh la..."

he patted me on the head and left.

as expected, the guy broke my heart into a million little pieces just so he could go after more "happnen" ladies. i should have listened to my big bro.

protective, loyal, honest, ikhlas, fun. and the glass was always three-quarters full with him. i only saw him once or twice after i left the job in shah alam. he kept changing his handphone number and i couldn't be bothered to keep track.

but i asked about him the last time i came home.

"dia dah alim sekarang... sembahyang tak tinggal."

"hah? dia? alim? no way! ape dah jadi?" i couldn't believe my ears. i suppose pigs do fly after all.

now, four months later and after hearing the news, everything is starting to make sense.

my big bro, JAIDI SAHAR, 41, died of an apparent heart attack this past friday.

i remember a particular poster in the mussollah (prayer room) back at our workplace in shah alam which says "hanya orang-orang terpilih sahaja yang mampu menemui ajal mereka pada hari jumaat."

he has kept me safe for all the years that we have known each other. Allah is now, returning the favor.

al-fatihah.