am starting to like yoga. correction. am starting to LOVE yoga. for the past eight weeks i've been bending, contorting and twisting my body into various shapes and forms. why exactly, i have no idea. it started as a real cheap trick to watch my man suffer. he's always been saying, "kita ni makan je keje, bila nak exercise ni? perut you dah boncit sangat dah tu..." so in an effort to kenakan dia balik, i signed BOTH of us up for yoga at the community center. he thought this union between the mind, body and spirit was a stroll in the park until he realized that he's the only thorn amongst the roses. haha, padan muka. kecut kote kote :)
well, the joke was on all of us really.
the teacher looked and acted nothing like a yoga devotee. always hurried and a major goofball, she made us all swing our hips to hoola hoops soon as we walked in that first day of class. it wasn't a pretty sight lemme tell you - breasts, pouches and asses started flapping everywhere - but it sure did break the ice. at ease, yes, that we were but everyone was still skeptical about this unfit looking chatty woman who was limping around the room with a cast on her right leg. SHE is gonna teach us yoga? isn't there a written rule somewhere that a yoga instructor is supposed to have christy turlington's curves and madonna's bulging biceps? i looked to my left. oh yeah, my man the lone ranger was about ready to kill me.
we were dead wrong about her. by week two, the cast was off, the limping and the prejudices disappeared. the warrior, the fish, the cobra and the lotus emerged. none of us knew what the hell we were doing so we tried our hardest to follow her lead. some of us knocked our heads on the floor, a few giggled themselves silly, a lady almost threw her back from showing off and my man was sweating like a whore in a church. me? well, turns out am somewhat related to gumby the ultimate clayboy.
while the rest of the gang struggled with the various poses, i became this lil' miss show off everyone secretly wants to have a smackdown with. downward facing dog pose, check. mountain pose, check. half lord of the fishes pose, check. plank pose, check. macam ada jin masuk dalam badan coz whatever ache and pain i've always felt in my joints all these years miraculously disappeared soon as i stepped onto the mat. b.k.s. iyengar, the 88-year old boncit grand master of yoga must have seen me in his vision and thought, "she's suffered enough embarassment in her life. let's give this particular moron a break."
so given all this good fortune coming my way, am starting to love yoga. i dunno if am gonna become a permament member of this global yogalution like so many of my hip friends but until i break my neck trying to maneuver the more complex asanas, am gonna stick to being lil' miss gumby yogi.
besides, they did say you can have better sex through yoga right?
10 comments:
with all the contorting and bending (backward and forward), i'm sure the kama sutra would be a breeze.
hmmm somehow i don't think yoga would improve our issue with sex, or may be i haven't been able to bend myself silly too much! But isn't yoga cool...you sweat like a pig, and burn all the calories, yet you don't feel as tired as hitting the treadmill or crosstrainer!
Unfortunately, the yoga teachers here are all the kurus kering and can just bend in ways you can't imagine! But I take solace that the person next to me look pretty much like me :-)
personally, i can vouch that it does do wonders in the bedroom dept. ;)
but having said that, even after about a year or so of doing yoga (intermittently if i may add), i still cannot do a headstand. frust sangat. bontot too berat that's why la.
brainy babe,
aiyo, kama sutra izit??? die woh... patah pinggang itu macam!!
nina,
ye ke?? sume kurus kering? ish, ni aku low self-esteem ni. muka aku makin kembang... tempat lain, jangan cerita.
eh, when i go back i go yoga with you ok? that way we can both be stoopid and tak senonoh. and aku book tempat paliiiiing belakang. standard la. melayu :)
shopper mom,
oooohhh... sudah try izit??? lu manyak kinky itu macam!!
hah?? headstand? aiyohhh... lu itu bontot berat. sini tetek tarak bole angkat...
i loved reading this post!!! almost fell off my chair laughing :) so cool to read you CREAM the rest with the effortless poses bit...
hang in there lah, although i think there's a special strain you have to do for the tantric sex to really start.
YAY!!! I love yoga too...hv been practising yoga for just over a yr only but very2 passionate abt it. on good days i can do headstand and just started to be able to do the crow pose nyeh..nyeh..
iguana lady,
eh you be careful aaaahhh... don't break your leg fall off chair. want to break body parts oso must for good/respectable reason. like yoga. then people say, "walauwehhhh... such determination, she champ." if fall off chair, "why she damn fool one?!!" kanot like that, shame for life :)
tantrix sex? now, now, let's not get ahead of ourselves...
sweettooth,
i saw your pics. gilerrrr!!! you makan ape buleh lentuk liuk macam tu sekali??!!!
yes we can go yoga but i am not related to gumby so you see me doing pseudo-yoga moves coz i can bend for nuts!
but aku kan over-achiever so selalu depan kelas! but remember that first aerobics class we went to in Bally's near briarwood...the one we said was like a sargeant??? so dam funny kan!
u did?? thanks for dropping by hheheee. believe me..i ws one helluva stiff woman b4. i can sense (chewah) dat u're gonna do better and sooner.
Hi,
Can i please enquire where you yoga? i used to yoga at yogazone but they are now closed :-(
And yes, it does wonders in the bedroom!! *WINKS*
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