"macam candu mende ni..."

i swear am growing calluses on my ass.

8:10am on the couch. the today show.
9:21am world wide web. couch.
12:15pm check above.
4:05pm almost edge of couch. general hospital.
6:21pm back to the web. back to the couch.
10:35pm sleep. where do you think??!!

i've been back on the island for four weeks now and i'm proud to say, i've accomplished absolutely nothing since i walked through the front door. yes, i've cleaned up the place (am anal, whatd'ya expect??!), showered (ocassionally), dragged myself to the closEST grocery store, removed all the dead plants in our yard and masak lebih kurang. apart from that and my very 'productive' couch related activities, i've done jackshit.

i blame my degenerative behavior on a single human invention called FACEBOOK.

extremely evil and utterly addictive, it is in my opinion, a far worse and greater force than those God-awful terrorists who attacked mr. bush's backyard that fateful morning six years ago. at least osama and co. didn't leave the victims with a choice but to succumb to the unreal and the unimaginable. with facebook, you load up the handgun, point it to your head, wink at the world, and then blow your own head to smithereens. and if you're nearly as neurotic as me, you'd probably be crawling around the floor, wiping off the mess you just made so you'd score brownie points with God, before you finally throw in the towel.

"facebook is a social utility that connects people with friends and others who work, study and live around them. people use facebook to keep up with friends, upload an unlimited number of photos, share links and videos, and learn more about the people they meet."

i've been warding off invites after invites since march thinking, "eleh, ni mesti sama macam myspace la ni... social networking for budak-budak..." what a complete waste of my time. then one day, out of sheer curiosity and endless heckling by my friends who've already gone over to the dark side, i decided to click on the yes button. in the words of julia roberts in pretty woman: big, BIG mistake.

i don't know what is it exactly that makes facebook so damn addictive and downright dangerous -- could it be that the network operates in such a way that it feeds our kepochi nature in wanting to know what our friends and foes are doing and thinking 24/7? or could it possibly be that it serves as a modern, no-strings-attached "talian kaseh" between old friends and lovers who, before facebook, were too afraid or malu to get reconnected? or is it the inner competitiveness in all of us to always one up one another, to see who's got the most friends?

evil as it may be, i can afford to be addicted to facebook -- i live on an island far far away from civilization. shit just don't happen here. but what about those (i.e. my friends) who can't seem to pry their minds and lil' fingers away from the computer to attend to their day jobs, their kids, their lives? what's going to happen to them? who's gonna save their tainted souls?

i've wasted enough time thinking and analyzing... gotta get back to the couch for more important matters. see you on the 'other' side.