santa mu santa ku jua...

it was supposed to happen at 6:30pm. sharp. i started shitting in my pj's 5 hours before that.

a week ago my friendly neighbors gave out colorful flyers informing us that today will be the day that a throng of kids will go door-to-door singing christmas carols. i read that and my first reaction was, "yaaay fun!" then it hit me. what do i, a person who doesn't even know the difference between protestants, catholics and evangelicals, know about christmas carol rituals? i began to menggelabah...

what do i do when they come knocking? open the door, hold a candle, pretend to hum "la, la, la, la" and sway my body in full carol rhythm? or do i smile, hand out treats then wave them away? or better still, do i admit that am an ignorant bitch who thought "i saw mommy kissing santa claus" was a song about a two-timing whore? i was in trouble.

so i did the obvious. i started shutting the blinds at 6, turned off all the lights at 6:15 and muted the tv at 6:25. by 6:30pm, our house was 'empty.'

everything went according to plan but like all drama swasta takde bajet, something had to go wrong. at exactly 6:37 i felt the urge to 'go.' no, no, not #1... #2!! i didn't know what to do -- the bathroom is outside, at the end of the hallway and am trapped inside, in the master bedroom. and in the dark!

so what's a girl of my caliber do? i paced around in circles and when that didn't work, i jumped up and down, moaning cibai, cibai, cibai under my breath like a thief who just stubbed his toe against the leg of an unseen table. what if i dash out and the kids are already at the door? aiyo, die la like this...

then i heard the engine. YES!! my knight in his not so shiny kapcai is back!! i carefully peeked through the blinds and when i saw that it was really him, i unlocked myself, waved hello and ran like a speeding bullet to the bathroom. aaaaaaaaaaaahhh.... as i sat down smiling, i thought to myself, "padan muka dia, now it's his problem."

but because we're birds of the same feather, he decided that he too was chicken shit. so we crept out the door (sans porch lights) and headed straight for the bike. and as he was struggling with the passenger footrests, i heard a familiar sound. i looked to my right and they there were, the christmas carolers, all laughter and smiles, singing their little hearts out.

a part of me felt a huge sense of relief for not having to pretend to be all cool and slick about christmas caroling but the other part of me felt regret. am one who's always up for a jolly good time and the look on the children's faces clearly screams jolly with a capital J but because i let fear get the better of me today, i missed out on a beautiful thing.

moral of the story: i need to learn some christmas carols and the do's and don'ts for next year's bash. that and am also printing out lyrics to "lagu tiga kupang" for the kids to memorize. that way when i come knocking on their doors asking them to join me in my celebrations, they won't run away scared and shitting in their pants :)

have a merry christmas yo!!