intro to weirdness 101

i've been tagged!! i've been tagged!! I HAVE BEEN TAGGED!!!

okay, as peghak as it may sound, am so excited to the point of being giddy. tangan tangan habih menggeletar sume ni. yes, yes, i know being "tagged" is not a big deal but excuseeeeeeeeeeee me!!! L has given me a reason to write about something other than my mundane life so that to me, is a big cause to celebrate!!

"People who are tagged should write a blog post of 6 weird things about them as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave a comment that says ‘you are tagged’ in their comments and tell them to read your blog."

6 weird things about me? matila, we're gonna be here all day. but okay, before we begin, lemme just say that i don't find any of my "traits" weird. i simply call them... "unique." as long as we're all clear on that...

1. i have great fascination for two human inventions: post-it notes and squeegees.
i don't really care about the latest iphone or the hoopla surrounding blu-ray discs nor do i give a rat's ass about the all-new bmw x5. but ask me about the two things in life that make my lil' head spin with wonder (apart from heinz ketchup which we will get to in a moment!) and my face will go kelip kelap kelip kelap. one, the super stationery solution called post-it notes and two, that blade-like thingie the banglas use to clean your car windshield and all things glass, the squeegees. i can't fully explain why i like them so much or when my fascination started but all i know is this -- i steal post-it notes every chance i get and a certain area in my body gets a certain kind of "itch" everytime i see a squeeqee being used. there. weird enough for you?

2. i like to examine my stool sample.
yes, my poop. i like to study them. you know, after those "brrrrrrtttttt, plop plop plop" and all the "aaaaahhhhsss," i'd look down into the toilet bowl and really take the time to examine my poop. you think am sick? elehhh... sudah lah! put it this way, some of you ladies out there have babies right... and day in day out, you feel responsible for that little creature that came out of YOU. you clean your tots, you check to see if they they need anything and you make sure things are alrite because you want the product of your own invention to be at its maximum potential. right? yeah, same thing with me and my poopies -- i feel a sense of pride and ownership when it comes to them. i know i've been a good girl if it's fat and juicy, a dehydrated whore if they're green and stinky and an absolute champ if it's an endless, "uninterrupted" production -- no breaks in between, just one clean, long, twirly line of poop. that's when am proudest. i used to compare my "success" stories with one of my close guy friends but his then awek now wife was really turned off by that so we stopped having our mindless chatter. but that doesn't mean i've put a complete full stop to being gross... :)

3. i like to look at women.
i'm no ellen nor rosie but i have to admit that i do "appreciate" the fairer sex. especially their bosoms. unlike most women who would stand around oogling at good looking men, my eyes have always been drawn to those female passerbys with nice set of racks. i don't just look, i would instead compare sample a to sample b and c and then proceed to grade their goods. i don't like em' too big like pam anderson, i value those of vanessa minnillo's (mtv vj and nick lachey's man purse) and especially scarlett johansson's -- just the right size, with the right amount of kelondehan. that's when you know the tatas are the real deal. my perverted male friends (and husband) love that i think the way they do -- we'd get into heated discussions about bra sizes, maintaining perky breasts, hantu kopek and all sorts of nonsense our r-rated minds can conjure. and when all is said and done, i'd go back to looking at dem apples...

4. i sometimes daydream about "flying."
for years, to get home from work, i would frequent that fly-over from jalan kuching heading into jalan sultan ismail (the one near sime darby). and every single time i was at that elevated position, at that specific corner overlooking the sungai down below, i would always ask myself, "how would it feel if i gun my engine and just floor it?" alaaa, macam cite speed tu... i wouldn't call myself an adrenaline junkie but there's no reason why i can't dream big. if the wright brothers can fly, hell, there's no reason why my waja couldn't help me do the trick. but the thought of having my head crack open, leaving bits and pieces of my unsightly brain matter floating towards masjid jamek stops me in my tracks. i may be all weird and full of silly ambitions but am nowhere near morbid. besides, what if i don't die? dah la berenang pun tak reti...

5. i always believe am gonna die young. okay, RELATIVELY young.
tak tau la apasal but ever since i could remember, i always believe that i'll die young. before my parents, before my siblings, before anyone close to me. no car accidents, no train wrecks, no dramatic explosions for me. in my mind, i'll breathe my last few breaths on a hospital bed, surrounded by the people i love most (and who love me best). i can't quite place the cause of death yet coz then i'll be a tukang tilik yang berjaya pulak but something tells me am gonna go quietly, after a long battle with a certain kind of illness. no fanfare, no fuss, exactly the complete opposite of who i am/was. everyone's gonna be all sad and mopey (especially me coz i'll be thinking about that penthouse in hell!!) but they'll move on with their lives the minute i say my final goodbyes. so tak berhati perut... benciii!!

6. i eat everything with ketchup. EVERYTHING.
everyone who knows me know that i can't live without ketchup -- it's like the bottle and i are conjoined twins or something! i consume ketchup with almost everything -- nasik, kfc, mcdonalds, cheese, nasi lemak, meehoon, sliced bread, pizza... you name it, i'll find every excuse to slather my food with lots and LOTS of tomato sauce. i think the insanity started when my eldest brother asked a younger me to help gaul his nasik with ketchup. i saw the bright pinkish red color and thought, "wow, that is so fascinating" and immediately wanted to taste the concoction. one suap and i was hooked baby. i never did outgrow my addiction. now i stash at least 4 jumbo sizes of heinz ketchup in the house and whenever i wanna travel, i make sure i nick enough mcdonald's mini ketchup packets before the trip. i don't know what will happen to me (and those nearby) if i don't get my constant ketchup fix. i don't intend to find out.

there. now you know. am a big-ass weirdo. now i need all these other weirdos to spill!!

1. nina
2. amir
3. zan
4. zals (you do it on my blog k!)
5. nicole
6. pian (i know you read my blog so write dammit!!)

okay, i'll be waiting with bated breasts!!!